What’s Really ‘Eating at You’
In this article we will discuss: employment, relationships and healthy body weight. It's very important to make positive changes week to week to create the beautiful life you want and deserve.
Have you ever wondered why? Why do I not have the job I want? Why is my relationship not feeling loving and secure? Why am I overeating and I do not have the body I want?
These are all good questions. But, how often have you realized that you are the one in control of your destiny? Have you ever considered changing the questions?
How can I get a better job? Do I need more education to get that dream job? What can I do to make my relationship better? Is this really the right person for me? How can I take control of my eating? What can I do to make my meals delicious yet calorie reduced?
Can you see the difference in the questions? In the first paragraph you are putting the focus on external forces. It's as if you have no control over what happens in your life, when in reality you certainly do. In the above paragraph you are taking control of the outcome.
My motto that I would pass on to you is very simple and I say this to myself every day:
Own Your Life
Now I am not going to pretend any of this is easy. Often times it is not. But anything that you put effort into, that will make positive changes in your life, is always worth it.
In this post I am going to address the 3 topics from the first paragraph.
* Employment
* Relationships
* Healthy Weight
Employment.
I want you to close your eyes and imagine your dream job. What are you doing? What are the tasks you are completing? Where do you live? How do you feel? Write it all down. It will help you move forward.
Now think about what you actually do at work. How closely does it match your dream? Is it fulfilling? Do you wake up energized and enthusiastic to head off to your job? If yes, then you can certainly skip down to the next section. If not, read on....
Have you ever noticed that we spend more time at work than we do at home? At night you are mentally preparing for the next day. In the morning you wake up maybe an hour or so before work and are consumed with tasks of the day. Even when we're not at work we're at work.
What is it that you really want to do for work? There are many online questionnaires and tools to help you match employment with your strengths and desires. But keep in mind feeling satisfied with your job can be as simple as changing your perspective. If your dream is to help people and you work in a fast food establishment do you feel rewarded? Maybe you can change your outlook. Do you realize that any employment serving the public is helping people? If you break it down and simplify you will see that you are filling someone's needs. They came in hungry and you provided them with food. It's all how you look at it.
Now, if you want to help people and you are working at a job that has no face to face contact with anyone else you may not be feeling rewarded. So it's time to make a change.
Making an employment change can be frightening. This is often why we stay longer in a job that is unfulfilling, fear holds us back. I'm not saying to go out tomorrow and quit your job, you still need money coming in to pay your bills.
What you can do is begin the search and research. Find out everything you need to do to get that dream job. You cannot just pray and it magically appears. All things in life require effort. Find out what resources are available to you. Go back to school if you need to. Make some contacts with people in that field and ask for help.
You may not get your dream job right away, but maybe you are a little closer and in time it will all fall into place.
Relationships.
Here-in lies our greatest joys and heartbreaks. Not just with romantic partners but with all relationships: family, friends, and co-workers.
Just like the advice from the first section we are the co-creators of what's happening in our relationships. Do you let people walk all over you? Do you easily trust people? Or, are you behind a wall and don't let people in?
How often do you think that happiness is external? Maybe you've thought you would be happy if you had more friends or your partner was nicer to you. Maybe you would, maybe not. But how often have you considered that none of that matters? The relationship you need to be working on is the one with yourself.
Many of us find it difficult to be alone. But it's in those moments we truly discover what we need from ourselves and relationships.
If you are in a relationship and you are constantly leaning on the other person for emotional support, guess what's going to happen if they leave.... You will fall down! You will be emotionally crippled and have difficulty functioning in any part of your life.
Relationships are not disposable. And I am not saying that you should not rely on other people. But we put more focus and effort on other people when we should be directing our focus within.
When you love yourself and feel secure and self-confident all your other relationships fall into place. When you start to take care of yourself the toxic people in your life will start to fade away and you will begin to attract better people into your life. You must be ok with letting people go. You will find others who truly love and support you.
So where do you start? This now goes back to spending quality time alone. Try to create a space within your home, or maybe a park or waterfront, that you can go to and just sit and breathe. Every week write out a list of 5 things you like to do and find a way to do them. If you don't get through all of them then that's the start to your next week's list.
When you build a stronger relationship within yourself this spills over into better relationships with others. I know you can find one hour a week, to sit quietly and alone, to take care of yourself. Create the life and relationships you want.
Healthy Weight.
What exactly does this mean? Did you know that if you were to get out of your own way your body would figure this out? The absolute best thing you can do is stop worrying about it. If you were to exercise daily and eat healthy your body will naturally begin to eliminate the excess stored fat. This will not be a quick or easy road, but it will be worth it. You must let go of that magic number in your head of what you want to weigh, your goal should be to feel strong in your body.
If you have unhealthy eating habits or you are an over eater you need to address the underlying problem, it's never about food it's typically emotionally driven. This is very normal as we all attach emotions to food. The trick is to separate the two and get help for the emotional side. If you have stress or worries write it all down. If the problem is something you have control over then fix the problem, if not you have to let it go.
Food is meant to be fuel for your body, so treat your body with respect. Your body is not a garbage dump so please don't treat it as one. If you were to pour sugar and deep fried foods into your car you wouldn't expect it to function properly. Well, the same holds true for your body.
What are you willing to do to turn your eating habits around? It may be simpler than you think. The best things you can do are remove toxic foods from your home and be prepared with meals and snacks.
Let's stop the diet insanity and get real about eating. Diets don't work because there is an end date to your diet. What you need is to be ready for the rest of your life.
Break down your schedule and figure out which days of the week you have time to cook. If that is only one or two days then you need to prepare enough food so that you are ready for the next few days of meals and snacks. Always prepare your own meals, when you go for take-out you lose control of calories, sodium, sugar and fat.
Try to spread out your meals. Most of us do well with 3 meals a day with 4 - 5 hours in between. Unless you're an elite athlete your meals should be no more than 500 calories and snacks anywhere from 80 - 150 calories. But try not to drive yourself crazy calorie counting, if it looks like too much food, or an unhealthy meal, it probably is. You can use measuring cups instead of trying to calculate calories.
Once dinner is done you are done eating for the night. Try to ensure you did not overeat but you did have enough food to carry you through until the morning. If you're bored in the evening and this is when you fall off the wagon then get busy. Go out for a walk, have a cup of tea, join a club or go to the gym. Do anything to get your mind off food, you're not hungry you're bored.
Each meal you prepare should be balanced (500 calories or less):
* 2 - 4 cups of vegetables, raw or cooked
* ¼ - ½ cup of grains, rice, pasta, lentils or 1 slice of whole grain bread
* 3 - 4 ounces of protein, typically the size of your palm is the right amount for you
* 1 tbsp - ¼ cup of fats - avocado, olive oil, coconut oil or nuts
* ½ - 1 cup of fruit, depending on the fruit
Snacks should also be balanced (150 calories or less). Here is an example:
* ¼ cup of almonds, or 2 cubes of cheese
* ½ an apple
If you are prepared with healthy meals and snacks then you won't have to rely on take-out.
Are you ready to jump in and make the change?
Additional Tips.
Some other things to keep in mind in addition to the above topics. How well are you sleeping? Are you distracted with worry about things that are out of your control? Do you consciously and purposefully sit down and eat your meal? Or are you eating at your computer desk or on the fly? All of these things need to change so that you are living the best and healthiest life you can.
Here are some tips:
* Be prepared with meals and snacks.
* Write down things that bring you joy, and go do them.
* Remove toxic people from your life.
* Fix the things you can, let go of the rest.
* Breathe.
* Quit smoking.
* Reduce or eliminate alcohol.
* Reduce sugar and sodium in your diet.
* Consistent sleep/wake time.
* Unwind before bed - read, have a hot bath/shower or a cup of tea.
* Shut down your TV & electronics, those blue light screens are stimulating and disrupt the brain's sleep sequence.
* Listen to a Theta wave audio, this helps calm the body and prepare for rest.
* Use lavender essential oil, this calms the body and brain.
* Write down your tasks for the next day and then forget about them.
For more tips on healthy eating check out my blog post.